Introduction
Paul Miriam relationship is considered to be the core of the novel. Why, because it is one of the favourite topics of Lawrence to talk about complexities of relationships between men and women. He has discussed the very subject in a number of his novels. So, Sons and Lovers is no exception. We find four knots of relationships in this novel.
For instance, Walter Gertrude Relationship that is initially based upon romantic ideas of Gertrude and upon their unfulfillment, it transforms into a heating mess of quarrels and of misunderstandings. Then, there is Gertrude William (and then Paul) relationship that is totally based upon making sons as husband substitutes which wreaks havoc in the emotional upbringing of her sons and their relationship with the girls of their age eventually fails. Then we have Paul Miriam Relationship which is to be discussed at length in this article and then Paul Clara relationship that was established temporarily to extinguish the sensual desires of Clara but it also ends in vain.
Paul Miriam Relationship, on the other hand, is based upon Miriam's spiritual ideals that Paul seems to detest. But Paul learns from the crirical remarks of Miriam on his paintings and he teaches her Algebra and French. Thus, he has an outlet for his intellectual thoughts to get distributed through Miriam. But their relationship does not go well on good terms as time goes by.
The First Meet-Up
The first meeting between Paul and Miriam takes place when Paul, with his mother, goes to the Leiver's Family at the Willey Farm. Paul Morel is deeply enchanted by the broad landscapes and beauty of Nature. At first, Paul mostly spends his time with the brothers of Miriam but later, he gradually starts taking interest in Miriam.
Miriam's Romantic Nature and Her Spiritual Constraints
It is difficult to deny that Miriam has a romantic nature and she often considers herself a "Walter Scott Heroin", in simple terms, sensitive and over-refined. Miriam detests vulgarity that is found in her brothers. She finds Paul a different man. Different in a sense that he has a different taste, an intellectual one like his interest in algebra, painting, poetry and French and "a man who had death in his family".
Miriam draws her spirituality from the metaphysical outlook of her mother. But her over-turned spirituality becomes a stout hurdle in continuing her relationship with Paul. As mentioned before, Miriam has developed hatred for sex and its implications. This makes her different from the girls of her age. But Paul thinks Miriam like a common girl. He needs her for his sexual gratification but Miriam resists his sexual advancements, thus making Paul annoyed by her spiritual stubbornness. For instance, Miriam folds her arms around her five-year-old brother and sways him. This agitates Paul and he bitterly questions,
Why do you make such a fuss for?
Paul wants to say that when Miriam can show her affections towards her brother, why not Paul?
First Phase of Relationship
Owing to Miriam's overtly religious outlook, the Paul Miriam Relationship grows on an abstract plane but its growth is slightly visible. This is the phase when both of them realize their worth for each other. Paul learns the critical significance of his paintings while Miriam uses Paul as a means to give vent to her inner-most emotions. In fact, it is Paul that makes a flower sink into the soul of Miriam,
Only he could make it her own.
One day, there is an Orange Moon situated at the top of the sky and such a romantic scene boils the blood of Paul's chest. He wanted to crush Miriam upon his chest but non of them even tried to kiss each other.
Second Phase
The second phase of the Paul Miriam Relationship becomes a litmus test for Miriam and her controlled love for Paul. Paul is determined to get Miriam introduced to the sexual life of a normal girl in love. Miriam too decides to submit to Paul's sexual desires. But it does not come as Paul plans to. Whenever Paul tries to have sex with her, she immediately recoils. When Miriam lives with her grandparents, Paul gets a chance to do whatever he likes but her immolating response disappoints Paul and he wishes he were sexless or dead. Thus, her indifference to sex gradually makes Paul bade a goodbye to Miriam.
Final Rejection
After such a cold spiritual connection, then come the death of Paul's mother and her death by cancer leaves a significant effect on him. Miriam has grown into a stiff woman with her youthful bloom gone. She thinks that Paul is wasting his life and offers her proposal of marriage. But Paul immediately rejects her proposal. He says that she loves him so much that she wants to put him in her pocket. She could only sacrifice herself to him every day. Her sacrifice was unacceptable to him so Paul bade a cold farewell to Miriam.
Who is Responsible for the Failure of Relationship?
This question, as difficult as it may sound, has been debated by critics to a great degree. Some argue Gertrude is responsible for the spilt between the two while others point their fingers at Miriam's rigid spirituality. Mike Sprika puts the burden of the spilt upon Miriam's shoulders,
Miriam's frigidity is rooted in her own nature, and not in the mere ignorance of sex. Her purity is nullity rather than innocence; she lacks real warmth, and Paul in his youthful inexperience is unable to rouse in her.
So, the person equally puts the responsibility of the spilt on both Paul and Miriam. But there is an equal share of Gertrude also in bringing about the separation. Gertrude Morel has tightened her emotional grip upon Paul and she is unable to realize how much havoc she has wrecked in Paul's youthful life. He fails to get the nerves of Miriam's limitations and Miriam stubbornly clings to her rigid spiritual ideas. That collectively brings about their separation.
Conclusion
Conclusively, Paul Miriam Relationship demonstrates physical as well as spiritual lack of understanding. It is something that is hard to achieve but it surely depicts how much damage it may cause if natural desires are dealt with unnatural ways.
Sources and Suggested Readings
- https://www.literaturewise.in/mdl/mod/page/view.php?id=218
- Sons and Lovers - Study Guide by Famous Products - Page 120
- Lectures of Sir Faisal
